Thirteen Reasons Why
by ReveledSky
Summary: Letter after letter, Harry is guided around Hogwarts and the wizarding world, painfully reliving moments he wishes he could go back and change. And, as he comes to the very last letter, he wants nothing more than to take it all back and fix it all


_Full Summary:_

_This is sort of a continuation of my last Drarry fic Starry Night and it's also a bit of an alternate ending. The concept of this story is based on the book Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher. Instead of cassette tapes, Draco leaves behind 13 howlers (that just talk, no yelling needed), each connecting to a place Harry and Draco had crossed paths in their lives._

_Letter after letter, Harry is guided around Hogwarts and the wizarding world, painfully reliving moments he wishes he could go back and change. And, as he comes to the very last letter, he wants nothing more than to take it all back… to fix what went wrong for 'the boy who made all the wrong decisions.' But it's too late now, isn't it? Draco is gone… and it's partially Harry's fault. With each letter, their story will unfold… and only Draco knows how this is going to end._

* * *

><p>The flutter of wings pulled his attention away from the tattered book in his hands as Hedwig dropped a small package at his feet, and perched on his arm.<p>

"What's this...?" Harry grabbed the little box, its outside covered with a green ribbon, and its lid scrawled with an all too familiar handwriting. His hands shook as he pulled the ribbon away. It had been nearly two weeks since he'd seen that handwriting... two weeks since he'd smelled the scent that greeted him as he opened the lid and peered inside. The snowy owl nipped as his hand, clicking at her owner as tears fell from his eyes. There was a bundle of green envelopes and a two pieces of parchment. He nervously unfolded the first one, a knot twisting in his stomach as he began to read what was written there...

_ Dear Harry,_

_ If you're reading this, then I am dead. Whether by my own hand, or Voldemort's, I can't say... but the important thing is that you're reading this and my package got to you. Inside the box are thirteen green Howlers with numbers on their envelopes. The numbers match a location on the Hogwarts map I enclosed... Once at the spot marked, the howler will open up for you. And don't worry... they won't yell, Potter. These should explain everything..._

_Draco Malfoy_

He stared at the letter for a while, silently reading over it a few times, trying to digest what was written there. For the past two weeks he'd sat in the Gryffindor common room, eyes vacant as everyone passed by him, occasionally faking a smile they'd all think he was fine and leave him alone. Draco's suicide had caught the whole school off guard... but no one took it harder than 'the boy who lived.' He had been there when Narcissa found the body... he'd been there for Draco's last few days, watching the blonde pull away from him and stop talking all together. To say Harry felt guilty would be an understatement. The weight of what had happened, of everything that could have been, and now never would, was eating him alive. It weighed on him with every waking moment and haunted him endlessly.

"Harry? You ok. mate?" Ron waved his hands in front of his friend's face, trying to put on a brave face as the brunette looked up from the letter in his hands and tried to hide the haunted look in his eyes.

"Fine. Ron... I'm fine."

"You don't look bloody fine...You haven't been ok since that stupid prat died..." the words slipped from Ron's lips and he immediately wished he could take them back... seeing the anger fester in the green eyes that were now glaring at him. Silently, his nails dug into the side of the box, Harry stormed out of Gryffindor tower, unable to stop the tears as they poured from his eyes.

"Harry! Harry, come on man, I didn't mean it..." Ron cautiously followed after, tail tucked between his legs as he attempted to smooth things over.

"Fuck off, Ron..."

"But Harry-"

"I want to be left alone... _ok_?" he ducked around a corner and head towards the first star on Draco's map, trying to calm the stabs of anger ripping through his spine. The first Howler seemed to spring to life as he reached the first location, the sound of Draco's voice piercing through him... assaulting his senses as he dropped to his knees.

_ If you followed the map, then you're standing in a hallway near Gryffindor tower. I'm sure you're wondering why I chose this as the first spot... Well, Harry, this is where our story begins. Now, to be fair, I had met you earlier in the day at the bookstore, but right here... in this hallway, is where this story begins. You do remember... don't you, Potter? It was here that I offered you my hand in friendship. I wanted to be friends with you because I genuinely liked you Harry... not because you were the "Harry Potter." I wanted a real friend... to blind followers like Crabbe and Goyle. I just wanted someone to care I existed..._

_ For the record, Harry, my parent's don't fall under that category of people. Mum loved me...but whenever she got too close, Lucius would push her away. Why? Because my father hated me. I know I talked about him all of the time, but it was only because it made me feel closer to him. It made it seem like he actually cared. Even though he despised me... only wanted me for whatever Voldemort had planned... if I pretended. If I just-"_

Draco's voice cracked and the Howler fell quite for a moment, fresh tears now welling in Harry's eyes.

_ I thought I could make up for what he wouldn't give me by pretending he cared. That day, when I held out my hand for you, I was hoping you could be the person he wasn't... that you could be a real friend. I wasn't asking much, Harry... but you never took it my hand. And that was the day... the day I learned how to hate. If you weren't going to be my friend, then we might as well be enemies. It was stupid, looking back on it now... but at 11 I wanted nothing more than to make you see the mistake you hand made... that maybe..you'd realize why I was being so mean to you. That you'd change your mind... I know it didn't exactly work... and I'm sorry for that. At you know now... maybe you can see where these letters are going Harry. I didn't want to leave you wondering if you had something to do with my death. These letters will answer that._

The howler fell into his hands, his hands shaking and damp from swatting his tears away. He didn't move for what seemed like hours... just staring at the, now, silent howler clutched in his fingers. If only had had known then... if he could just go back and fix it. That day was now fresh in his mind, Ron's biting words reverberating through him … making his breath catch in his lungs. His mind was fumbling to catch up with his thoughts, filtering through memories of the times his path had crossed with Draco. As his eyes glanced over the stars on the map, he couldn't hold back the sob that slipped from his lips, tears splattering the map as he clutched it in his other hand.


End file.
